At St. Mark’s, Sheepshead Bay

Det. McDonald Preaches Message of Forgiveness

By Marie Elena Giossi

NYPD Detective Steven McDonald was the featured speaker on the theme of forgiveness and reconciliation at a special Lenten program open to parishioners and schoolchildren at St. Mark’s, Sheepshead Bay, on Monday, March 10.

“Love is forgiveness,” Det. McDonald told more than 100 people gathered in the school auditorium to hear the third-generation police detective share his story of becoming a quadriplegic in the line of duty 22 years ago and then forgiving the boy who was responsible.

Marie Elena Giossi Photo 

Seventh graders at St. Mark’s School surrounded NYPD Det. Steven McDonald, who spoke to students and adult parishioners about forgiveness as part of special Lenten program at the parish.

His talk is the latest step on the intense prayer journey the parish of St. Mark and St. Margaret Mary has embarked upon this Lent. Under the direction of Father Joseph Grimaldi, pastor, and Elizabeth Mathew, pastoral associate, the parish has already shared an Ash Wednesday soup and bread supper, hosted by St. Mark’s Youth Group; morning prayer each weekday; Stations of the Cross each Friday; a parish mission with Father Thomas Martin; Bible study and prayer every Wednesday evening; and a penance service.

The parish will have a Seder Meal on Tuesday, March 18 and pray the Stations of the Cross through Sheepshead Bay and Manhattan Beach on Good Friday, March 21, beginning at 10 a.m. at St. Mark’s.

Principal Carol Donnelly and Youth Minister Lori Ryan directed students as they set-up chairs for Det. McDonald’s talk just after the lunch hour last Monday afternoon. He arrived in his black van driven by Police Officer Andy Cserenyi from the 63rd Precinct and assisted by nurse Susan Lambo.

Children in grades five through eight fell silent as they saw the detective’s wheelchair roll into the auditorium. And when he spoke, they sat at the edges of their folding chairs to hear the man’s story for the first time. Older attendees nodded their heads as he spoke, recalling the newspaper and television coverage of the tragedy that befell him on July 12, 1986.

“My wife has a saying, ‘There’s no such thing as coincidences in life, just God-incidences. I’ve learned to let God take control of my life and He takes care of everything,” he said. “The only reason I’m able to do this is because God wills it so.”

He spoke in great detail about the summer day when he was shot three times by a 15-year-old boy he was questioning regarding bicycle thefts in Central Park. Just 23 years old and on the job for two years, he was newly married and expecting his first child.

He recounted how he watched the teenager, not much older than most of his audience at St. Mark’s, fire bullets into his head and throat. In the moments and hours that followed, he would have died if not for “an invisible God (who was) moving everyone to do His will in my life,” he said.

Paralyzed from the neck down, he lived, but said, “there were days I did not want to live knowing I could live out much of my life, maybe the remainder of my life, like this.”

Through the prayers of his mother, wife and friends of every faith, he too began praying and finding peace.

Six months after the shooting, his son was born. “It was an answer to a prayer, a sign of God’s love. … I was inspired to love the boy who shot me. I wanted as best I could to be like Jesus and I could only do that if I forgave him.”

Although he forgave the boy over the phone, he never had the chance to say the words in person. The young man who shot him died in a motorcycle accident days after being released from prison.

“When I forgave him, I chose to love him,” the detective said. In doing so, he freed himself from the anger and bitterness that would have damaged his soul much more than the bullets harmed his body. He would have also missed hearing God’s new calling for his life.

“Your lives are no mistake. God put you here in this school in Sheepshead Bay to live good and great lives,” he told all gathered before him. He told children as well as adults present that they, like him, are called to “build up the kingdom of God” by providing a loving, forgiving witness to the world – starting right in their own homes, school and community.

“I am an instrument of God’s peace in this chair,” he said. “I spend my time living out my faith as best as God allows me … and I tell my story so other people make better choices.”

Det. McDonald closed his talk by praying a decade of the rosary and reading two prayers, one celebrating each person’s uniqueness and another encouraging non-violence.

“He’s beautiful,” said parishioner Anita Troise. “I remember what happened and I wanted to hear him speak.

“I truly believe he’s living out God’s plan and reminding us that we can’t keep bitterness in our hearts.”