There’s a reason they’re called the “terrible twos.” From a parent’s point of view, that little darling has suddenly become very vocal. From the child’s point of view, life, which had been relatively pleasant up until now, has taken a disturbing turn.
At around 24 months, a youngster is old enough to have an opinion and loudly voice it when mom or dad don’t give that little one what he or she wants right now. Right now!

What does a toddler want? A special toy. A particular food. The ending of an activity. Or its beginning. Or its continuation. The list goes on and on.
As we all well know, at 2 or 102, there are things we want — now! — but we don’t always get. Life, most of us manage to learn or at least grudgingly accept, can seem filled with waiting. With wanting. With, at best, compromise, if not downright disappointment.

Every parent, grandparent, baby sitter and day-care provider knows how a 2-year-old reacts to that apparent injustice: Scream! Kick! Cry! Fall on the floor!
Every adult sometimes feels the same way but, for the most part, has learned instead to quietly fuss and fume, or sputter and mutter, or sigh and press on.
How does that maturing happen, and what can a mom and dad do to help their little ones and not-so-little-ones move beyond the tantrum stage? A few points to consider:

• Remember that giving in once in awhile is not the same as giving up completely. Some battles aren’t worth it. It’s OK to let him wear this shirt instead of that shirt or eat the burger and skip the milk. Once in awhile.

• Take comfort in the fact that saying no to your young child is one of the best ways to help him or her learn how to hear the word “no” at an older age or to be able to say no to himself or herself as a teen and as an adult.

• Yes, having a child scream and collapse at the grocery store or in the restaurant is embarrassing for a parent, but all veteran parents have been there. Each is on your side, knowing you want what’s best for your son or daughter, including, at times, sticking with a big, fat “No!”

• Keep in mind, too, that we all have off days, bad days, wish-I-had-stayed-in-bed days. Sometimes we all need to be cut a little slack by a spouse, a boss, a co-worker.

• Don’t lose sight of the fact that sometimes we need to cut ourselves some slack too. We need that five-minute break or that down time. We need to admit we’re more than a little grumpy today – and that others aren’t really as stupid as they seem this morning – because we didn’t sleep well last night. After a brief rest, our attitude and their IQs will soar.

On the Web: Answering Questions

Have a few questions about what’s going on with the two-year-old living in your household? (Or comes to visit?) Odds are, you’ll find it and a suggested answer here: www.babycenter.com/expert/faq-toddlerbehavior.html. The rail on the left has links for children of other ages.

Bill and Monica Dodds are the founders of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver and editors of My Daily Visitor magazine. Their web site is www.FSJC.org. They can be contacted at MonicaDodds@YourAgingParent.com.