BY Matthew Zinser

Whenever anyone meets someone new, they want to get to know a little something about the other person. They ask the other person’s name, nationality, job, birthplace or plans for the future. Whenever I meet someone, they always ask me what I plan on doing “when I grow up,” and I tell them that I am a seminarian, studying to be a priest.

After the initial surprise and quizzical look on their face, they begin to ask me a series of questions: “Why do you want to do that with your life?” “Don’t you want to make a lot of money?” “Why don’t you want to live a ‘normal’ life?” The big question, however, on their minds, other than “Are you crazy?” is “Don’t you want to have sex?”

We are living in a world where people are exposed to sex on a regular basis through television, movies, the internet and various other media, and we have become obsessed with sex. Therefore, when someone comes along and decides that he or she is going to live a celibate life, often we do a double take and can’t understand why.

Because of our sex-crazed world, one cannot blame anyone for wondering why someone would freely choose to live a celibate life. I think that the reason why people wonder so much about celibacy is because there is a misunderstanding of the concept of celibacy.

First of all, we must all realize that sex is not a bad thing. If it were, God would not have made that the only way a man and a woman could procreate. We also, however, need to realize that no one has ever died because of a lack of sex, while too many people have died because of too much sex with the wrong people.

Celibacy, like sex, is a gift from God. Living a celibate life is much more than just not having sex. People do not decide to live celibate lives because they are not allowed to have sex, but because it enables them to serve God and His people in a special and unique way.

Celibacy is a sacrifice that people make to give themselves completely to follow their vocation. Sacrifices are part of everyone’s life. Christ offered up His life to save us and give us the chance at an eternal life. When we picture Christ on the cross, we must realize that His arms are open wide for a reason – He is showing that the sacrifice of His life is made for all people because He loves all people.

Celibacy is not a rejection of love, but a total acceptance of all human love without the boundaries or expectations that come with a sexual relationship. It is a way for people to serve God and His people with their entire body and soul.

I do not know if it will be easy to live a celibate life as a priest. The world is full of temptation and celibacy is a real challenge in a world where sex is everywhere. At the college seminary, we too are exposed to the sex on television, in movies, on the internet and in the media.
I, like most of the college seminarians, study at St. John’s University, where there are many attractive young women. It certainly is a good test for the celibate promise we will make at ordination.

Living celibate lives can be tough at times, and people living them need to focus on Christ to help get through these times. We must realize that our lives are being lived in this way as our way of serving Him in the way He predestined us to do. We need the support of people close to us and the people that we serve in order to make our celibacy a joy, which is what it should be.

People must realize that those who live celibate lives make that sacrifice to serve their people in the best way possible, so that they can devote all of their time, talent and energy to their ministry.

I was thinking a lot of what it would be like if a priest had to serve a parish of over 1,000 people, and have a wife and three children to provide for and be a husband and father. In my opinion, it would be very challenging for someone to be a good husband and dad and devote as much of the time to his wife and children as he should, and to also be a priest and devote enough time for his prayer and ministry.

I would love to get married and have a family, but at the same time I realize that God wants me to do something different. He wants me to serve His people as one of His priests and that means living a life of celibacy where I can be available to His people, serve His people and most importantly love His people.

Celibacy is not a bad thing, in fact, it is a beautiful thing and an expression of the amount of faith and love celibate people have for God and His people.

Matthew Zinser, a member of St. Matthias parish, Ridgewood, is a college seminarian who resides at the Cathedral House of Formation in Douglaston.