Forgiveness purifies your soul and brings relief to your wounded spirit. Forgiveness reconciles your mind and heart with God, with neighbor, and, most of all, with self. In countless ways it helps both the one who forgives and the one who is forgiven. Pope John Paul II said about forgiveness: “The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being, where he regains his own true identity. He is reconciled with his brethren whom he has in some way attacked and wounded. He is reconciled with the church, and he is reconciled with all creation.”

The Lord stands ready to forgive everyone; you in turn must be ready to forgive others and yourself, as when you pray in the Our Father: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” These words tell us all we need to know about the obligation to forgive neighbor and self.

A true Christian prays for the grace to forgive. Jesus forgave his tormentors before they asked: “Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34).
You can forgive yourself simply by turning your guilt over to God’s mercy. You can forgive another simply by willing it, without ever going through a painful confrontation.

Once you decide to forgive, you will gradually be released from all resentment and hurt.

Do not wait until you feel like forgiving or it may never happen. Forgiveness is in the will. Forgive now – and get on with your life.

Repeat this over and over again: “I forgive and I am forgiven.” Feelings will follow in time. Do not wait for good feelings to spur you on; simply forgive. You give it before you feel like giving it. You “fore-give.” Do it now.

Forgiving someone who has hurt you, even if you do it secretly, will be good for your mental health. Once you decide to forgive, pay no attention to those feelings of resentment that will surely return. Angry feelings will subside in time. Once you let go of them you will be able to make room for God’s joy.

I have covered forgiveness and joy extensively in my book, “Joy, the Gigantic Secret of the Church’s Survival.” Accept the negative feelings that come into your heart, and learn to laugh at them. Just will to forgive – and be patient. The good fruits of peace and joy will return in time. Just knowing that you did God’s will and not your own will bring relief and solace.

Mysteriously, by God’s grace, you will begin to change as your angry spirit gradually calms down. Gradually your joy will return. “A cheerful glance brings joy to the heart” (Prv 15:30).

Cultivate too a joyful smile. A smile on your lips can change the hurt in your heart. Cultivate positive, healthy thoughts.

The poet Yeats once alluded to a special moment of joy in his life, a time when he experienced an unexpected elation: “My body, of a sudden, blazed.” He had forgiven someone and was free once again to dance.

You can tap into the spiritual reservoir of joy within your soul by forgiving others, and especially by forgiving yourself. Meister Eckhart, the German mystic, wrote, “For this joy is close to you, it is in you. None of you has a spirit so heavy, nor an intelligence so feeble, none of you is so far from God so as not to be able to find joy in him.”