Pardon us. We know it’s the middle of summer, but let’s begin with a pop quiz on forgiveness:

1. Who said, “To err is human, to forgive divine”?
a. Pope Alexander
b. Alexander Pope
c. Your spouse, looking for mercy

2. Which apostle wanted to find out exactly how often a follower of Christ is supposed to forgive another person?
a. Judas
b. Peter
c. Sneezy

3. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” can be attributed to:
a. Ali McGraw
b. Jennifer Cavalleri
c. Erich Segal
Pencils up! Didn’t do too well? No need to apologize. Here are the answers:

1: b. There have been eight Pope Alexanders, the first at the beginning of the second century, the last at the end of the 17th. And while your spouse may repeat this adage frequently, it was written by Alexander Pope (1688-1744), an English poet and satirist. The line comes from “An Essay on Criticism,” which also notes that “a little learning is a dangerous thing,” and holds this gem which could be applied to fashion: “Be not the first by whom the new are tried / Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.”

2: b. Peter, of course. You’ll find that in Matthew 18:21-22. The expression Jesus uses means an infinite amount. (Rats!)

3: All the answers are correct. McGraw played Cavalleri in “Love Story”; the script was by Segal. Needless to say, if you have parents, siblings, spouse, children or extended family, you know that line is baloney.
Except for the Trinity and Mary, love does mean having to say you’re sorry (sometimes quite often) because all of us who are not sinless do things (sometimes quite often) for which we need to ask forgiveness.

You’re Being Watched

The good news for parents is that every time your children see you ask to be forgiven you’re helping them learn how to do that too. This certainty is based on the very firm foundation that the majority of children’s learning comes from monkey-see/monkey-do.

Demanding of your child, “Tell your brother you’re sorry!” is much less effective than that child observing you sincerely apologizing to someone.

It also means if you want your youngsters not only to take advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation (confession, penance) but to come to know the beauty of encountering Christ in this way, you need to set the example there too.

What you would like them to avoid is some form of the public “non-apology apology” that’s so popular these days. “If I have offended you, I’m sorry” is second only to “This is not something I’m proud of.” Neither, you’ll note, says flat out, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

Then, too, accepting another’s apology isn’t always easy either. That also takes some observation and practice. St. Augustine (354-430) assures us it’s well worth the effort: “There are many kinds of alms the giving of which helps us obtain pardon for our sins; but none is greater than that by which we forgive from our heart a sin that someone has committed against us.”

On the Web: St. Augustine’s Blog

Really. On MySpace. Check it out at www.myspace.com/saintaugustineofhippo. The site was created by the Augustinians of the Province of St. Thomas of Villanova in Pennsylvania.

Bill and Monica Dodds are the founders of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver and editors of My Daily Visitor magazine. Their Web site is www.FSJC.org.