My new goal: to have no goals.

It’s countercultural in my young-adult circles, where if you’re not training for a triathlon, then you’re starting your own business or getting certified in yoga. For so long the perfectionist in me has joined the rat race to “success” without considering the consequences: little time for family and friends, and a self-esteem based on accomplishments.

For a year and a half now, I’ve known this about myself: I have difficulty chilling out.

But that’s the prescription I just received from my doctor and a few others in whom I confided about my fragile, stressed-out state of being.

Like most of my young-adult friends, my demands and responsibilities are greater than my time to complete those demands and responsibilities. So I borrow any and all of the extra minutes from a category called “down time.” But I’m learning that rest and relaxation are just as important as work and exercise.

When a person loses down time for too long, she depletes her own “ozone layer” that buffers her from life’s stresses. Without that essential cushion, whatever crisis or confrontation comes along can bring her to her knees and disrupt the order or balance of her life.

In a recent Washington Post article, Jennifer Huget gave a few suggestions for assessing how much of a workaholic or successaholic you are. Among them was rating your relationships – with family, friends and yourself.

Chris Essex, co-director of the Center for Work and the Family in Rockville, Md., says that one common characteristic of workaholics is that most of their relationships revolve around work. What they consider social and recreational is actually just more networking. For workaholics the friendships made outside of the job get little or no attention, and those friends often complain that the workaholic is not making time for them.

But there is hope. Huget lists five steps to help young adults like me get as serious about down time as they are about goals.

1. Slow down. Workaholics Anonymous, a 12-step support group, offers some tips on their Web site: www.workaholics-anonymous.org.

2. Set boundaries. I have a tough time with this one. This past weekend, I told myself that I would not check my work e-mail from Friday night through Monday morning. Four hours into my promise, I couldn’t stand it anymore and was e-mailing editors. I should have listened to Essex’s advice: “Start small. Could you shut off your BlackBerry for half an hour while you eat dinner?”

3. Find a hobby. Most workaholics have one hobby: work. They don’t know what to do with themselves if they slow down. That’s where their friends (if they still have any) can help them and make them go outside the box a little to have some fun.

4. Get professional help. Essex says that sometimes workaholism stems from depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues. In many cases, therapy can help a person develop strategies for managing the problem.

5. Consider a new line of work. Some workaholics whose addiction has disrupted family life and friendships might need a career change to break the cycle.

Therese J. Borchard writes a syndicated column for Catholic News Service. It appears bi-weekly in The Tablet.