Giving Money to Beggars?
Editor’s note: In our July 14 edition, Therese Borchard wrote a column wondering if it was an act of compassion to give money to beggars. Or was it merely reinforcing a sense of dependency? We invited readers to respond. Here is a sampling of their reactions:
Dear Editor: Whenever I come off the Queensboro Bridge, I encounter those con men who are going from car to car, asking for money. I close the window, pretend they’re invisible and congratulate myself wholeheartedly for my wisdom in this.
And yet...What about the others? What about the destitute, lonely, hopeless-looking man or woman sitting on the sidewalk, head down, dirty, forlorn and homeless? Will that person use the money for drugs or alcohol? Maybe. But who knows? There but for the grace of God go I.
Also, into my thoughts comes that disconcerting man, Jesus of Nazareth, smiling at me and asking me: “The last time you were in Chiarelli’s, did you see see those erasers with the words ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ on them? Well, OK Tony: Think. What would I do?”
Then, I invariably take out a dollar or so and give it to that poor person. I just can’t get around Jesus. Sacred as He is, as much as I love Him, He sure can be a pest sometimes. In fact, He’s beginning to bother me about those guys at the Queens end of the 59th St. Bridge too.
Father Anthony Raso
City Line
Dear Editor: When confronted with the situation of a beggar asking me for money, I try to see the face of Jesus in him/her. I usually do give a few dollars. I often wonder whether this is helpful or harmful, but I will have that individual make his own choice as to what his needs are.
I am just not able to turn my back on these poor souls; as one never knows when that dollar will make the difference for that person.
John Salvio
Gravesend
Dear Editor: I can only judge my giving on how it impacts on me. If I were to limit my giving only to those family members, individuals, or organizations that spent the money the way I deemed appropriate, I would never give to anyone or anything.
When I give, I feel very good about myself. I don’t look back to find out how the money was spent. If by not giving money to beggars (a terrible label), drunks would stop drinking and drug addicts would stop using, there would be neither today.
I will continue to give and let the receiver determine what to do with the gift.
John Fitzgerald
Woodside
Dear Editor: At one time, I used to not think of giving whatever change I had in my pocket when someone asked. One time I was going into a Dunkin’ Donuts when I was stopped at the door. I asked the gentleman if he wanted something to eat and was cursed out. I was told, “I don’t want anything to eat just your XXX money.”
Since that time, I do not give any money but will still ask if the beggars are hungry. If they indicate they are, I will get them something to eat. However, I stopped giving any money for any reason to a beggar.
Brother Mark Koch, TOS
Via e-mail
Dear Editor: My experience indicates that food, not money, is the better response to a beggar. Thus, if I’m riding a subway I’ll take a hard-boiled egg in anticipation that I’ll be asked.
On the street, if possible, I’ll look for a fast food outlet and return with a sandwich or a slice of pizza. The needy beggar has always been grateful and thanks me. The hustler usually looks perplexed when accepting the food and sometimes shows a touch of shame.
Philip Lehpamer
Brooklyn
Dear Editor: “Beggars” are just like you and me, they are people in need. They may need something different from you or me but like us they are needy. They ask for money but what do they really need? That is the question you should ask them. They may need a meal or coffee or clothing or a job or medical attention. When they tell you of their underlying need, you should do your absolute best to provide them with what they need. That is the better way to satisfy the need. To “love one another” is more than a cash transaction.
Ed Fitzpatrick
Bayside
Dear Editor: I have come to a solution to this question that I feel comfortable with.
When I come upon somone begging, I ask them what they need the money for?
Most of the time they say food, rarely otherwise.
I ask what they would like to eat and /or drink right now?
I usually buy coffee and a donut or a slice of pizza and a soda.
Sometimes, I am on a errand and say I’ll catch them on my way back.
The response 100% of the time has been gratefulness, a win/win outcome for both of us.
One homeless man, whom I met by appointment every Tuesday night to pick up my recylable cans, ended up asking for a ride to detox and eventually to successful rehab and has a job, reconnected with his family.
You never know.
I hope this advice is helpful to others.
Tom Meany
Park Slope
Dear Editor: Why do you assume all street beggars are addicts or codependent?
Many people who are on the streets begging are mentally ill. Whether mentally Ill or addicted, they are sick people, not bad people. They are somebody’s children.
Do I support codependency? No. I do support a sick person who needs help because they are in some kind of pain and maybe a cup of coffee or a sandwich might help.
Very often, they don’t have the choice whether it’s food or drugs or alcohol they buy with the money they beg for.
I once heard someone say, “If we always look for the Risen Christ, we will seldom see Him. But if we look for the Suffering Christ. He is all around us.”
What was that question, when did I see you suffering Lord and pass you by?
Maureen Graham
Brooklyn
Dear Editor: First of all, I want to tell you that I read The Tablet for the news and for Therese Borchard’s columm, which is a highlight that I always look forward to reading. She hit the ball right out of the park with “Should We Give Money to Beggars” in juxtaposition with this week’s Gospel of the Good Samaritan.
This is an issue that we New Yorkers have to deal with each and every day, be it on the street, at work, or at home.
I think we’ve all been scammed by panhandlers here in New York City.
However, we need look no further than the example of St. Therese of Lisieux, Therese Borchard’s patron saint, whom I greatly admire and whose words were truly inspired by God. While being compassionate and helpful to those around her who needed her assistance with their activities, St. Therese was wise enough not to give in to codependent needs.
When I encounter a probable panhandler, I usually say a prayer for them, because God can help that person more than my dollar can.
Dr. Linda Shookster
Rego Park
Dear Editor: When I was growing up, my mom would feed a homeless man who once begged for money. She told him she would not give him money for alcohol, but would feed him. Every afternoon around 5 p.m., he would knock and my mom would give him a plate of food, which he would eat by the staircase. This went on for years until he was found dead due to cancer of the liver.
If I see someone who I think is needy and I have an extra few dollars, I just give it without thinking if he or she will use it for drugs, or alcohol.
There but for the grace of God go I.
Evelyn Martinez
The Bronx
Dear Editor: Should we give money to beggars? I think we should otherwise we are making a judgment when that judgment belongs to God.
However, if I’m near a deli or a fast-food place, I will either purchase something for him/her or take him/her in the establishment, give the counter person $5 and let him/her choose what they like for $5. Then I leave so if he/she chooses they can get the money back and do whatever. Anyhow, $5 doesn’t get you much.
Rose Anderson
Rego Park
Dear Editor: I also had mixed feelings about giving to street beggars. It was my husband Bill who came up with the solution that works best for me. Once a month, I send a check to St. Francis Breadline. Each day they give coffee and sandwiches to anyone who shows up. St. Francis is very efficient. When I asked, they sent me self-addressed envelopes. I keep the envelopes where I pay my bills and every month I send them something.
Perhaps a little extra if St. Anthony has found something I lost that month.
Celia Dettmer
Via e-mail
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