The beginning of the school year usually comes with great expectations on the part of the parents. There’s nothing wrong with having expectations, except when they are so out of proportion with what the child has accomplished in the past.

Why is it that by the first report card the excitement of the beginning of school has waned considerably? The answer is simple. It is because all the hope in the world and great expectations never take the place of legitimate hard work and commitment on the part of the student.

When the first report card appears and the student is not doing well, very often a parent will attend the parent/teacher conference and begin to make excuses for the child. It is right at that point the six-year-old or 16-year-old realizes that he or she does not have to take responsibility for his or her own actions.

Parents should not make excuses. What they should do is help make a plan. Just before school starts or at the beginning of the school year, sit down with your child and talk about what expectations you each have. The expectations need to be realistic and not overwhelming. If your child usually earns Cs then don’t set As as the goal. A more achievable goal would be for the child to choose one subject to earn a B in. You may not initially be happy with the goal of one B. Don’t show disappointment, as your child will pick up on it. Again, thinking realistically is a big part of the plan. If that one B is achieved, it will be encouraging and can serve as the catalyst for further success.

Help design a plan which may include one less hour a night online. Help create a study time chart or set a bedtime that may provide more rest and therefore the ability to focus more. Invest in a desk and a comfortable chair so that a dedicated space for study exists. Suggest family activities that will encourage interest in a particular subject. Above all, listen to what your child has to say about what would be helpful in achieving the goal. Ultimately he or she must own the plan, so incorporate as many of the reasonable strategies suggested as possible.

When you attend the first parent/teacher conference, do so without guilt if things haven’t worked out exactly. Nor should you blame your child if true effort has been made, or blame the teachers. The fact that the child is making an effort is a success in itself. Good academic results take time.

Utilize the conference as a learning experience. Let teachers know what your child has been doing in regard to how he/she is attempting to achieve the goal. In essence, tell them about the plan. In return, you may receive valuable information that can assist you in guiding your child toward the goal. For instance, a teacher may inform you of a future project that you can begin to guide your child toward preparing for. Or, a teacher may be able to suggest a method of honing the plan. Teachers want to see students succeed and want to be partners in a success story.

If the plan works, don’t be quick to offer a monetary reward. Young people need to learn to take pride in their good work for the sake of good work. The increase in self-esteem is the ultimate reward. Tell your child how proud you are because the commitment was kept. A special family dinner would be a way to celebrate.

If a child fails to maintain any commitment to doing well in school after you have made your effort of support, this demonstrates a lack of respect and lack of boundaries in the household. Parents need to set boundaries. Children need to know that sacrifices and effort made for them require respect for those boundaries. Respect for those boundaries bring about a sense of order and a stronger family bond. When this happens, both the child and parents will be more apt to find that great expectations have a better possibility of becoming reality.